Blue jeans, white shirt…
by Bette0Porter
Summary: This is a story I thought about last night. I was listening to Blue Jeans (by Lana del Rey) and I just couldn't help it. As soon as the lyrics go: "blue jeans, white shirt" I immediately thought about Tina, in Bette's office when they kiss for the first time. As the song develops, I kept thinking about B&T and I realized it almost fit with what the two of them go through during S3


**Just so you know, I didn't forget my old stories; I've alread got the new chapter for '(Re)Finding our own path' written. I'll post it in the next few days. Thanks a lot for reading. Xoxo**

**«Blue jeans, white shirt…»**

I will love you 'till the end of time

May God damn this radio… The words crossing my brain are so familiar to me; it sounds like the story of my life.

The same life that just two weeks ago flew away from my hands… _T_.

_Blue jeans, white shirt_

_Walked into the room you know you made my eyes burn_

It was the first time we kissed. It feels like it was yesterday. You were wearing those blue jeans and that white shirt. You looked cute and sweet, but there was a veil of sexiness in that, it just blew my mind. I never felt like that, I was falling for a woman I barely knew; the only thing I knew was that I wanted to live my whole life with you. I can still feel the sensation of my lips touching yours…

_You fit me better than my favorite sweater_

We fit so well. Our lips were like two pieces of a puzzle. Destined to be together and linked to each other. You can call it fate - or whatever you like – but that day I, immediately, thought that we were meant to be.

_And I know that love is mean, and love hurts_

_But I still remember that day we met in December, oh baby!_

It was, indeed, December when we first met. In my gallery. Your boyfriend took you there; he was an art collector. My eyes literally burnt when you walked into the room. I could feel that burning feeling crossing my body when our hands touched for the first time. But love is mean, love hurts. I don't have the privilege to feel that sensations anymore.

_You said you had to leave to start your life over,_

_I was like 'no please, stay here, we don't need no money_

_We can make it all work'_

I think that's when our life together became to fell apart. You started to turn into a kind of money-obsessed woman and you kept rubbing the fact that I was jobless directly in my face. Making me feel useless and worthless. But I know, somehow, I deserved it. I hurt you too. But I couldn't stop begging you not to go away from me. But I realized it was too late; you were already gone. Not physically, but your heart wasn't there anymore by then.

_But (s)he headed out on Sunday, said (s)he'd come home Monday_

_I stayed up waiting, anticipating and pacing but_

_(s)he was chasing paper._

_Caught up in the game, that was the last I heard_

And that was the first time I realize you were drifting even more apart from me. You would go out 'for work' and wouldn't come home in days. You met Josh, the producer. Every time you'd say you were going to have 'business dinner' with him I knew I was losing you more and more, each time you decided to offer your spare time to someone else.

_You went out every night_

And I can describe how much I missed you each time you weren't there with me. While I looked at our own child. She so reminds me of you. Maybe this is the only thing left for me of you.

_And baby that's alright,_

_I told you that no matter what you did I'd be by your side_

Maybe this is the only part of the song I don't agree with. It wasn't alright! And it did matter what you did, because yes, I did tell you to explore those feelings, instead I just hoped you didn't. But you did and yes, I admitted I wouldn't be there as soon as you got your answers.

Believe me, it tears me apart.

_When you walked out that door a piece of me died_

_I told you I wanted more, but that's not what I had in mind_

I wanted more… I just wanted an explanation. But not the 'I have feelings for men' one.

_I just wanted it like before_

_We were dancing all night_

But that's how everything ended…

_Then then took you away, stole you out of my life_

A man… Henry. He took you away from me. And you did it, here, in our home. In our bedroom, maybe in our bed as well. And I still remember the fight we had that night, when you decided to go away. I wasn't yelling out of anger, I was yelling out of pain because I couldn't keep you here, with me.

_Promise you'll remember that you're mine_

_Baby can you see through the tears?_

That was our goodbye. And oh, hell! How I hoped my eyes could speak more than those words. How I hoped you could hug me one last time… but you seem happy, or content, at least. More than how you looked when you were with me, I have to admit it.

But I won't give up on hope.

_You just need to remember._

_I will love you 'till the end of time_

_I would wait a million years._

**The End**


End file.
